Poison Poison’s Greatest Hits 1986-1996 (Capitol, 1996)
By Micah Holmquist
February 5, 2000

I can already hear my loyal readership -you know those people that always go to my page yet save for three occasions have never emailed me to tell me so- saying, "why are you reviewing a disc by Poison? Aren’t they the quintessential glam metal band? Don’t they represent everything that you think is so wrong with almost any music that could fit under the general heading of rock?"

My answer can only be yes and no.

I have long been adamant about how I think that "rock and/or roll" has produced no more than two performers -Bruce Springsteen and Neil Young- who have created a truly great body of work. (1) The best that anybody else did was create a few great albums or songs. There have been more than a few good tunes but I venture to say that at least 90% of rock music has been awful and shows that those record burning preachers weren’t all bad.

So how does Poison fit into the scheme of things? Much of their music was crap but Poison, at their best, could produce music at and above the 90th percentile.

The different facets of the group’s career are represented on Poison’s Greatest Hits 1986-1996 although not necessarily in equal proportions. Poison released their debut album, Look What the Cat Dragged In, in 1986 and some of the best songs on this compilation come from that disc. If Behind the Music is to be believed, then "Look What the Cat Dragged In" was and early anthem for the band but it is not really all that good. Other songs from that period are better. "Cry Tough" is o.k. but when Air Force recruiting slogans -i.e. "Aim High"- are quoted, you have to wonder. Then there is "I Want Action" which has audible stanzas and a somewhat cool chorus. Fortunately the song opens with the chorus and contains one of the most situationally hilarious moments ever when Bret Michaels sings "I'm just lookin' for a little kiss." Hey Bret, how much videotape does that sentiment occupy?

The group released Open Up and Say... Ahh! in 1986. "Every Rose has a Thorn" came from this disc and was the Poison’s biggest hit ever. Understanding the popularity of the song would go a long a way towards understanding the bizarre phenomenon that was the power ballad. "Nothing but a Good Time" and "Your Mama don’t Dance" also show up here. They were certainly big hits but sound even worse than "Every Rose has a Thorn." Unfortunately "You Can Look but Not Touch" -one of the most "relevant" from Open Up- does not appear here. It was no better and no worse than the rest of the disc and certainly not a "greatest hit" but it did have Bret Michaels fully and honestly expressing his feelings on a topic with any contrivance. That should count for something.

By 1990 our glam rock heroes had decided they wanted to get serious. Or at least they had decided that they might want to get serious. Out of this predicament, came the debacle that was Flesh & Blood. I remember when this release came out and I remember purchasing the audiocassette tape not long after its release. Even then I thought the disc contained a lot of filler amongst some good songs. I was dead wrong. The concept of filler assumes that there were at least a couple of songs worth listening to. There was actually one decent songs and its not here. What is here is at best good for bewilderment and laughing at Poison. I’ll start with "Unskinny Bop." Nobody knows what the hell the title means and the main point is Bret expressing his desire for a woman who is just as horny as he is. Drummer Rikki Rocket does throw in some licks that were obviously intended to make him a "drum god." "Ride the Wind" is a song about riding motorcycles and nothing special although certainly audible. "Life Goes On," another song originally from Flesh & Blood, is basically the slow tempo prelude to "I Want Action." Oh year, it lacks the humor and fun chorus. It gets even worse with "(Flesh and Blood) Sacrifice" for which the less said the better. Finally there is "Something to Believe In" which does the quite daring task of taking on preachers, saluting U.S. veterans of the Vietnam War, and mourning a suicide. The final lyrics are better and about the plight of the poor and inner cities. They are:

I drive by the homeless sleeping on a cold dark street
Like bodies in an open grave
Underneath the broken old neon sign
That used to read "Jesus Saves"
A mile away live the rich folks
And I see how they're living it up
While the poor they eat from hand to mouth
The rich is drinkin' from a golden cup
And it just makes me wonder
Why so many lose, so few win

Given my politics and general humanity, I want to believe that these feeling are sincere. But given everything else I have my doubts. Bret never actually says that inequality is wrong, just that he is curious about it. Furthermore, "it just makes me wonder", what type of vehicle our buddy Bret was driving? A sports car? A truck? A Harley? The possibilities may not be endless but there is more than one. For my money, it would have been at least as poignant and a whole more entertaining if the group had tried Elvis Presley’s "In the Ghetto." The one good song from Flesh & Blood was "Live Loves a Tragedy." I think there can be little doubt that the defiant stand of that song -defiant in the blues tradition- was real.

Instead of some of these better non-hits, Greatest Hits features "Stand" form 1993’s ill-fated Native Tongue and two previously unreleased songs. Suffice to say these cuts would not have been a hit at any point. "Stand" is hilarious for profound lyrics like "lies and money have become the white man’s god" and use of a black gospel choir. The two unreleased tracks have their own comical touches but pale in comparison to "Stand."

I won’t lie and say that I did not enjoy just trashing Poison. It was a lot of fun and almost made me forget why I bought this disc in the first place. I say almost because, let’s be honest, I wasn’t listening to any of these tracks as I wrote about them. No I was listening to a continuous loop of four songs off this disc that deserve a better fate. In other words, they are the four reasons why Poison was and is cool.

"I Won’t Forget You" comes from Looked What the Cat Dragged In and has a neo-blues guitar intro by C.C. Deville that does not suggest what is to come. This is the template for a mildly up-tempo power ballad and it wasn’t bad for what’s it worth. The topic is the end of a romantic relationship plain and simple. Ignore Michaels’ claim in the linear notes that "the lyrics to this song were the message to girlfriends, friends and families that we left behind to pursue our dreams." Nice try but right off singing "I won’t Forget You," the bard and his mates add, "even though I should." Still it is a fun song.

"Tell Me Why" was one of four studio tracks that served as enhancement to the double disc live album Swallow this Live. The set came out in July of 1991 by which time the grunge trinity of Nirvana, Pearl Jam, and Soundgarden were making their mark. "Tell Me Why" never had a chance in this climate which is unfortunate since it is a fun track and features one of Poison’s best lyrics ever. Amidst cool lite metal guitars, the track opens with

I'd like to put to rest the rumors
I'd like to put to rest the lies
I'd like to throw away the past
And show you how I feel inside
I'll be your taxi and your driver
I'll be your road if you need
I'd like to push and push and push
Just to make you pleased

Note the transportation theme. Also note that Bret is more excited about pushing than more efficient methods. You could argue that sexual violence is implied here but let’s give Bret the benefit of the doubt here. The song ends with one of Poison’s most "artistic" statements. Throughout the song, the line "Tell me why" is usually modified by something like "Your love reaction chills me to the bone?" But at the end, no modifier exists. The want the question "Tell me why" to be something that no listener can ignore and they can’t. "Brilliant"!

"Fallen Angel" was the best song off of Open Up. I remembered it as Poison’s best song and it is close. The song features Deville’s conventional yet effective line plus some flamboyant drum fills. What makes the song really entertaining, however, is that the song makes no sense coming from the Poison. The narrative is of a woman who moves to Hollywood to pursue a dream of stardom. Here is the chorus

Win big--Mama's fallen angel
Lose big--livin' out her lies
Wants it all--Mama's fallen angel
Lose it all, rollin' the dice of her life

Exactly what type of message were they intending to send? Don’t go out and follow your dreams like we did because if you do, people like us will take advantage of you? Despite this confusion, the social consciousness that Bret and the boys would take too far with "Something to Believe In" was developing. In that sense, it was a landmark song. (Of sorts, that is.)

But the all time greatest song in the Poison in the Poison pantheon is "Talk Dirty to Me." The song has it all -sex, guitars, vocals, drums, a bass player that may be important but never really stands out, and lust. O.k. maybe that isn’t everything but it was and is Poison at their best. The song opens with the following two verses:

You know I never
I never seen you look so good
You never act the way you should
But I like it
And I know you like it too
The way that I want you
I gotta have you
Oh yes, I do

You know I never
I never ever stay out late
You know that I can hardly wait
Just to see you
And I know you cannot wait
Wait to see me too
I gotta touch you

I’ll let the lyrics explain themselves but keep in mind that the chorus does not come between them. It is not until after the second verse, the chorus enters the fray. This builds (sexual) tension. When it does come time for the chorus, and what a chorus it is:

Cause baby we'll be
At the drive-in
In the old man's Ford
behind the bushes
till I'm screamin' for more
Down the basement
lock the cellar door
And baby
Talk dirty to me

This is an interesting commentary on the drabbness and awkwardness that is so teenagerish. The members of Poison were not teens at this point but the writers of children’s book aren’t eight so why complain? Besides the greatest Poison moment -and therefore the greatest glam moment ever- is just about to come. For the final recital of the chorus, Bret adds a beautiful pause between "the" and "bushes."

That is art! And if it isn’t art, its glam metal. And that is a lot better than even many former fans are willing to admit.

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1) You could make a strong argument that Bob Dylan also fits that category. I would argue that Dylan's foremost contribution was not great music but rather creating the template for Springsteen and Young. That may or may not earn him the status of great.